Monday, April 30

Well loooooky here

I managed to finish that oil on board thing.
Can i get a woot woot.
I'm pretty happy with the result. Now just more drying.
I've been trawling through university prospectus' for the last few days. The uni that's easiest for me to get to re school run doesn't seem to have a degree that jumps out and bites me. Whereas just peeking at Man Met's fine art degree made me do a little bit of sex wee.
Also, I'd rather like to continue post graduate and get an MA in Fine Arts. Now that would be something.

Art art wank wank art art. It's all i go on about these days aint it!
The weekend was ace though. How was yours? My weekends often seem to have an event in them these days. Or something that makes me sigh on a Monday and think... "Ooo. Good weekend" with contentment. I reckon I know why too.

Boyfriend held a rather respectable sized bbq at his on Saturday night. There were a few teething troubles with the fire, who insisted to misbehave intermittantly throughout the night, but much fun was had by all.
I felt a tad 'adrift' a fair few times, but I had expected that. I'd only met a few of the party guests once before and the boyf was busy flitting about and making smoke signals to the pagan god of fire and raw sausages. I did make friends with a really nice couple though. I also laughed for about five minutes non stop at one point and nearly had a coronary.
The night went very well despite one unused SingStar and one slightly anxious boyfriend.

Prior to the 'do' I also ripped the marble from the fireplace. On purpose of course. I'm re-doing it, but have come to a sticking point. I'll post a pic tomorrow as i need you readers advice!

Thursday, April 26

Down, down the rabbit hole.

The weekend was unusual.
Boyfriend came up to see me again, bringing his wonderful kisses with him, and I decided I wanted to be impulsive on Saturday night.
So after a little online research, I dragged him out into town to the Night And Day cafe to see some relative newbies rock the mini stage and to scope the place out for an exhibition that I might one day submit something to.
I've not been before, and I loved it.
The vibe was fantastic and I must be getting old because I 'felt' the acceptance as a thirty ish relatively trendy person wash over me like an enveloping cloud of butterflies fanning my face. Or that could have been the smoke from the bar. Pass. Either way, I settled quickly into the haze of coolness(/smoke).
The first act was nuts. A Nick Cave Wannabe American dude with his own instruments. There was bemused grinning from the small crowd, and i especially enjoyed his piece with the howling into a french horn rigged up with a mic. The crowd weren't buying it however, so he downed instruments and began accapellaing it around the room (with an unplugged electric guitar), hopping onto the bar and twirling. Then, after setting one of those box things off that keeps repeating stuff like KT Tunstall has, he ran out of the bar and down the street.
Musical ability = 0 pts.
Entertainment value = 100,00000000000 pts.
The next act was a pleasent enough fellow with a pleasent enough voice who looked like Sayid from Lost. Easy listening and nice to gaze into the boyfriends eyes to.

Then came the one i was waiting for... Daggers.
They is da schizzle. 80s inspired electro rock with a front man who has enough raw sex appeal and electric moves to convert a lesbian and rival The Hoff. Full of funk.
Oh yes. That good.
I may have become a closet groupie.
God help me.

There were quiet a few double vodka and somethings consumed by myself, and then i got my lips round a Slippery Nipple which saw me through the rest of the night that culminated in some very raunchy saucy debauchery in my upstairs hallway and eventually my bed.

All in all one of the best nights out i've had in a damn long time.

Another interesting point.
I saw an old friend of my ex's in there that I used to know certainly well enough to nod to and we have exchanged conversations years back. But like so many other of my ex's friends and collegues, people whom i used to see repeatedly for nigh on a year and chat to many a time, often being beside them while they worked a shift together with the ex for eight hours straight, he didn't recognise me at all. Even stood behind me watching Daggers for a length of time. I mean right behind me. A year ago ish I remember being coincidentally in my ex's place of employment to watch a show and calling one of these aquaintances by name and smiling to a blank face. No hint of recognition in their face or eyes.

I've changed beyond recognition over the past two years.
I am someone completely different. It makes me smile.
I feel so alive. I'm only just starting to realise my potential, and it's great.

Saturday, April 21

Friday, April 20


*lets out a deep breath*
Whoever wrote season one episode 10 of Boston Legal was a poetic plot and poise genius.
For a sneaky peek at the majesty click here. Shatner is fantastic. Reminds me somewhat of my father too actually.

Also, is it just me or does Alan Shaw in drag look remarkably like Nadia Almada the post op transexual BB5 winner?

Thursday, April 19

Hot dawg!

I like to share the funnies. That is why i bring you the following:

Yes that would be a little yorky having his frantic way with a sex toy for dogs.

Tuesday, April 17

Monday, April 16

Back to Buisness.

I've not blogged in nearly a week.
So unlike me. Or what I used to be like when I had less killer more filler in my life.

The holiday has been and gone. It's been productive. I finished my English Lit coursework, 3,600 odd words on whether Joyce was in influence on Carver. It wasn't anymore interesting than it sounds , but it could have been a lot worse.
I finished the next stage in this oil painting you can see. The board means its ages to dry. But no matter. I can wait. I'm pleased with its progress. The next board will be acrylic and impressionist, so fast!
So what else?
I've got into Boston Legal belatedly. Just adore Spader and Shatner. Such a witty combo.
"Denny Crane"
Oh to be that witty with one liners and comebacks! Perhaps I need a team of writers behind me. Or underneath me.
*thinks of the boyfriend with a wry grin*

Also of course I've given this place a spring clean. I was hoping femme with a dark edge. What do you think?

Tuesday, April 10

Jelly and Jobs

Redcurrent jelly
Originally uploaded by justgoodfoods.
I was in my local Morrisons, shopping for the communal rice n spare ribs meal that mum's going to prepare tonight (read: throw together and proclaim it's brilliance), when my boyfriend's views on what a crap store it is were justified yet again.
They had stopped stocking red current jelly.
Who in their right minds doesn't sell red current jelly?
It's a sin I tell ya.
You must learn a little background history at this point to understand the gravity of the situation.
My mother, yes the one middle kid wants to send to an early grave, was brought up on sugar. I would like to assume this was as a result of the rationing during war time and her mother's subsequent sugar overload that left her with just three teeth like fence posts sticking up out of the soil of her gums. But I think it's probably more to do with our families seemingly diminished amount of will power where anything confectionary-esque is concerned.
So along these lines, mum often puts red current jelly in any sauces she makes. Gravy, BBQ, Sweet n sour, soup, anything. She loves the stuff. As do I, but her manic enthusiasm for it puts me off somewhat to a more normal level of appreciation.
Anyway the upshot is: Cranberry Jelly Will Not Do. It's too tart and not enough sugar. Might I add that red current jelly goes with anything. Try some on chips. Go on! It's delicious.
I resorted to some sort of ocean spray cranberry/redcurrent jelly hybred in a crusty jar found at the back of the supermarket shelf. I should probably check the exporation date.

In other news:
I seem to be getting over my cold.
Hoorar! I know. Miraculous.
And have spent hourson my english coursework today. James Joyce and Raymond Carver are baking my noodle.

Saturday, the day of our anniversary, went very well i think. We showed ourselves at his neices 18th. Bless us for coming out in public. It was a touch nerve wracking because I knew nobody but his mum and dad who i've met previously just the once. But I felt up to the challenge.
Amusingly as soon as the boyfriend opened their back gate to go in, someone was shutting it on me from the other side not realising he'd brought someone. Luckily that accidental omen of exclusion wasn't a portent of the whole evening.
I had some trouble understanding his mum this time, with all the noise. I think i nodded and smiled inanely severally times when i shouldnt have but apart from one awkward moment where his sister in law and his mum both looked at me for a response, of which i didn't have, I reckon it was fine.
There was drink consumed. Including by myself, but I didn't get pissed. I'm all about the first impressions me. I thought i heard his sister in law mentioning something later in the evening to him about how I at least wasn't blonde. So first impressions of being brunette were on the cards!
His brother was a walking grin. I never saw it falter once bless him. Although it was coupled with a bemused frown when he asked me for the second time "but what are you going to DO when you grow up?" 'I dunno, be arty' wasn't a great answer I suppose.
Apart from being too tall, next time i'm so wearing flats, comically too southern (glarse not glas, barthe not bath) and too vague in my career path, I hope it went well.
They were all very friendly and down to earth. I like them a lot.
Pleeeeeease let them like me!

Saturday, April 7

Out of the mouths of babes...

My mother, remarking on something: "I can't help it. I'm an old woman now."

Middle kid, as reply: "Be proud of being an old woman. You'll be dead soon."

Friday, April 6

My Tree

My Tree
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen Lederhosen.

Something more uplifting perhaps?
This is the view (well yesterday's view) from the rear of my house.
Isn't it the most wonderful tree?
It's huge and lives in the park that's behind my backgarden. It's on perfect view from any of my back windows.
I've been ignoring any lingering weakness and throwing myself quite literally into my garden. I had a Koi pond to fill up with earth from elsewhere in the garden and some turfing over the top to do. Also moved about oooo seven shrubs. Two days of extreme work. But oh SO satisfying. And done almost entirely on my own too. I feel very accomplished!

Tomorrow is our first aniversary.
Like reaching the bottom level of branches on my tree. To have such a future grow out of nowhere. To have renewed faith and for once in my life feel completely loved. To be able to look into his eyes and see my emotions reflected there. To have acceptance. Oh to have acceptance for who I am, for all the people and roles that I play that make up 'me'. It's fantastic.

Thursday, April 5

Surgeon General Warning on my Front Door

Front Door
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen Lederhosen.
Apart from still being a tad shakey of course I feel a LOT better than last night. I needed some good old fashioned healing kip. Even though I spent most of yesterday in a horizontal position.
I am currently enjoying my first cup of tea. I do however get the feeling that it's about to go 'straight through me' as they say. Ahem.
Better to try tea than coffee though I figure.
Speaking of coffee.
I've recently bought some Tesco's Fair Trade instant coffee and it's really rather good and not too expensive at all. Better than Nescafe (not hard though as that shit's cacka). Nescafe Gold Blend and original stuff always tastes of burnt coffee beans to me. No subtly there.
Anyway i'm all grown up and buying Fair Trade. So in the manner of the inexcusably horny Owen Wilson and the less horny but still 'would' Ben Stiller: "Do IT". Well some of Starsky and Hutch was funny i swear!

I'm still watching paint dry. My oil paint that is. Trust me to go all 'impesto' and pallette knife happy. More like trowel. But I've got the replacement titanium white now so just waiting. There's no way i should try before i'm sure, or i'll bugger up the other layer. I think I've got about two more layers left to do. Fixing work on this one and detailing. Drying time again (hopefully quicker though as less paint). Then the last layer of a sort of trasparant wash to give it a misty muted feel.

Does anyone know any other bands i can look for that are along the lines of Zero 7 and Air?

This next youtuby is as a direct Cuteness challenge to Timbo for his Otter find.
Mine's cuter than yours Timbo! MWAHAHA.

Wednesday, April 4


Well it had to happen eventually!
It's been my turn to throw up. And i've not been a happy bunny about it all. I don't really have the energy to write now, but i'm just killing time while i wait for the love of my life to come online to say goodnight.
But sitting here isn't doing me any favours so i think i'll have to stick to texting tonight.
Went to the docs the other day about the itching (amongst other things) and i'm to go back for more blood tests to rule out a blood disorder. Apparently generalised prolonged itching without a rash isn't allergies and seems to either be a) all in my head (stress or anxiety thing). Great. Or b) the symptom of a load of other things none very good ranging through liver, kidney and blood disorders. Oh great! So i'm either mental, say nothing you at the back there, or i've possible got something a little more 'uhoh' on my hands? And which one am i rooting for? Finding evidence to back up yet another complaint of mine at the docs, or being cuckoo?
Also because i've been back to my docs more times than you can shake a speculum at, i'm loath to mention things now! Like i haven't mentioned how a few months ago (and its happened before with the space of a few months) i keep getting up at night to pee. And I can never go long in the mornings before I have to go. 7 or 8am ish. The boyfriend manages to sleep in for hours without needing a number one (lazy man ha!).
Well. Enough on personal pee habits.
I'd better sod off now.
Weak as a kitten me.

Sunday, April 1

Yet another lovely weather day!

We're all coming down with nasty colds again. I blame the eldest because a) i can and b) she started it.
I've also so far had two out of three children actually throwing up repeatedly and one diagnosed by the GP as having abdominal migraines due to stress/anxiety. Aparently its seen in girls of her age. And of course she is gifted and talented (officially recognised oh yeah) and is very sensative. I figured it was something like that.
Up to my ears in various sick things for the easter break, is where I'm going with this. Pity me!

Boyfriend and I went to see Damien Rice at Manchester Apollo. I found it ... hard to describe! Occasionally it was beautifully moving. I really enjoyed it on the whole. But sometimes 'Damo' (as the insane Irish guy in front of us kept shouting out) was just way too musically aggressive. Presumably proving some sort of point to onlookers wondering about the split of Lisa from the band.
Also, there was heckling. I was appawled at this. Heckling? How can someone go to a gig and heckle at the performers. Just plain rude. There was this celloist woman who did a little song in between and someone actually shouted, "you're rubbish!" as she spoke the warm up to her song. Disgusting behaviour. I felt embarressed to be amongst the crowd with their childish manners.
Also, the insane Irish guy was way too insane for our liking. I think the constant poppers sniffing didn't help.
It's a shame because it made me think that perhaps Manchester Apollo wasn't the great cool place to be like i thought it was if people like that attended. Maybe i'm a little delicate and still have that gig newbie scent. I should toughen up.
Boyfriend was very disappointed with the gig too. Mostly due to Lisa. I feel his pain, but was not such a die hard fan beforehand so can only marginally sympathise.
This weekend also saw me begin on this oil on board from the Manchester Rooftops Series, and was making good progress until I ran out of titanium white paint! NIGHTMARE. Still. It'll come together. But with oils its all about patience, forsight, adaptablity (because oils are SO unpredictable sometimes) and layers.