And further more...

Final Stage
Originally uploaded by La Beave.

For the first time in my very long and often fraught blogging history I have been graced with not one, but two blogger awards!
It's been a real boost for me, and completely set aside any thoughts I had of giving up the place. Not that they were concrete thoughts of course, but previously my blogging had slowed a little. Pesky real life getting in the way of my blogging. Pah.

And as to that life stuff, I had a really good weekend with the Boyfriend again. We went to see Transformers, which I have to say was a tad disappointing. Still worth a watch on the big screen though and I really enjoyed the first half. The second half just got a little crazy plot wise, and the CGI action is too fast to really be fully apreciated. However all the slow mo action shots gave me goosebumps.
I won't mention that I get goosebumps very easily though. Like when I watched Take That on TV at the Boyfriends and Mark was singing to his newly found son. *goosebumps*
Hey it's an autonomic reaction! I can't help it damnit!

Today has seen me becoming somewhat attacked by the bunnies as I transferred them to their outdoor pen on the grass. I think those things are way too bolshy for their own good. They have been handled so much that they actually get pushy! They know that picking up generally leads to fun and relative freedom in a large pen, and are often more than excited to get there with somewhat cute nose nudges and less cute scratching. I'm constantly walking around with scratch marks. I think people wonder whether the Boyfriend and I aren't into some sort of S&M play. On a serious note I am going to get another tattoo on the inside of my left wrist and I could use that area healthy without ickle scratches everywhere! I'll obviously have to instil fear into them so that they freeze rather than fight to be released. Maybe i'll hit them on the head a few times. [i'm joking obviously] Oh and Ricky, who I now dub affectionately as Ricky The Eunoch is doing very well in the healing department.

Today I've also completed another nude sketch as shown above with thanks to a friend for finding me some suitable nudes online. You'd think that would be an easy job huh. But no. I don't do pron drawings. Unless I get paid. MWAHAH.

Meow

What is it about plastic bags that cats find appealing?
Originally uploaded by La Beave.

Why little cat? Why must you a) lie ON something, b) lie On something ON my worktop, and c) choose plastic bags for your bed?
Crazy animal.
But cute.
Bless.

I'm off to see the boyf for the weekend soon. Off for my weekly dose of cuddles.

Oh and I tried to phone the kids again but still not answering. I left a message so hopefully I'll get a call back soon.

Gazing

Gazing
Originally uploaded by La Beave.

I went to see Harry Potter last night and to any Potter movie fans out there, it was brilliant. Up there with the Prisoner Of Azkaban..
Well done that director, whoever it was.
Finally some decent magical fight scenes.
I've still not started the new HP book yet. I've decided to read through Half Blood Prince again just to get the best possible experience by reading straight through to the last one.
Possibly a little sad, I am aware of this!

I drew this charcoal sketch today and am surprised at how handy a chamois is for charcoal drawings. Why did noone ever tell me? Is it like the best kept secret amongst artists ever?

In home life things are still odd. Looking to the future is horrible. I've had to look in my diary for a few reasons (a cast iron fireplace is being delivered woo) and the look of another vast week without the kids is awful. I'm definately only coping by getting through a day at a time. I don't know whether it would help or not, but i've tried to phone their dad to talk to them and find out how they are doing, but he didn't answer and hasn't returned my call.
I guess he is busy.

I forgot to mention something that I did accidentally a couple of weeks ago. I was dropping Middle Kid off at her end of year prom (at 8 years old too SIGH), when I attempted to be sociable to a mother at the gates whom I had one 'brew' with whilst our kids played together once. She's a nice girl, and I'm not afraid to admit that I could use a friend or two since moving up, so I feel it's important to make the effort. Except that I became flustered a little. Tried too hard to be casual and chat I suppose. Sometimes social gatherings take me right back to when I was 13 in Holland and trying to make friends with the kids that would bully me. Bygones! Anyway. So my big faux pas? I used the word Tizwoz in conversation. To someone who wasn't about to jump on a horse and go fox hunting. What was I thinking?

I expect to have some sort of cap up my ass any day now.

Things that make you go 'huh!'

Hey you know when weird things happen, coincidental things that make you go 'huh!'
Well they happen A LOT to me. Take just now for example.
I was driving back from dropping my mum off at work (her car is in the garage), when during her waffling that I was pretending to be interested in (well it was some scandal involving some member of the family somehow etc) I heard David Bowie's Ashes to Ashes playing quietly in the background. Well, that's not something you hear a lot these days huh? Mind you I was listening to (last) Century FM. And no it wasn't the cover version by that bird whom I can't recall at the mo.
Anyway, so I made a mental note, repeatedly muttering Ashes to Ashes over and over on the way back, because my memory has been letting me down somewhat lately. Got in, checked which album it was on, Best of Bowie, and then looked for it on something torrenty. During the googling, I found a YouTube video of the single, which almost put me off the song to be honest, but not quite.
Then, whilst Youtube was open I looked for some Never Mind The Buzzcocks episodes that I'd not yet seen. Well Simon Amstell IS a God is he not?
Very randomly Season 2 ep 5 seemed unfamiliar, so away I clicked on Part 1, settling in for a nice ten minutes of chuckling.
And then it happened.
During the intro for Dom Jolly....
They played Ashes to Ashes.

Now that's some fucked up shit right there that is.

But now a comedy interlude:
Russel Howard. My new comedy hero. (Youtube's embed was turned off so had to link only - sorry folks)
I am SO going to his standup near us in November. GENIUS!

Scarved Girl

Scarved Girl
Originally uploaded by La Beave.

Here is my story-
A little sad of soul, a little weary
Maybe I am that?
Will nobody love me?
Is an empty heart and a conscience all I have?
If i die tonight, if I give up the fight
Will you do something for me?
Tell them my story, tell them well
Tell them everything you know

I was born in the springtime
Born of love and cradled in a misfit history
Of blind faith and pantomime
Oh, I know what I am but I don't see
So if I die tonight, if I give up the fight
Will you do something for me?
Tell them my story, tell them well
Tell them everything you know

So if I die tonight, if I give up the fight
Will you do something for me?
So if I die toniight
Won't you do something for me?
Tell them my story, tell them well
Tell them everything you know
Won't you tell them my story?
Won't you tell them, tell them
Tell them everything about me
About me when I'm gone
When we're dead and gone
What will still be here?
What will carry on?
When we're dead and gone
When there's nothing left
What will still be here?

Nickindia - Nerina Pallot

One of the most beautiful and poignant songs I have heard in the last five years at least. I am in love with a song.
It's words are the reason I'm becoming an artist, the reason I write.
To not disappear into time, but leave something behind.
I want to still be here when I'm dead and gone and there's nothing left.
I want my children to look at the images I've created and see a piece of me in every one. Some resonate me. My moods, my inner thoughts, my expression.
Tonight I sketched Scarved Girl, and although it's similar to the photo reference, her expression has something of my inner thoughts and mood.

Give me a name, give me a soul.

You Are a Dreaming Soul

Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

You Are A Weeping Willow Tree

You are a dreamer, and you're into almost any kind of escapism. Restless and capricious, you love to travel to exotic places. You are easily influenced by others, as long as they don't pressure you. You tend to suffer in love until you find that one loyal, steadfast partner. An empathetic friend, you love to make others smile and laugh.

What's Your Celtic Horoscope?

Hello all and sundry.
Well my three weeuns have gone on holiday with their dad for awhile leaving me very unsettled and out of sorts. It's a yearly event, and they love it, but it's hard for me. Very hard. I've had the boyfriend to entertain me with his fying penis flinging over this weekend which I can honestly say was an eye opener as well as a distraction so that's been good.
But he's gone now. Back to the hum drum of week day life, and I'm here.
It's end of the college year, so I'm just in the house, but in theory I should be up to a million things while I have the free time alone. But I can't utilise the time efficiently when I'm willing it away. I'm just not in the right frame on mind I suppose.
I've been burrowing into the final of the Garth Nix Abhorsen trilogy this evening, and of course there's the final Harry Potter waiting for me afterwards [NO ONE SAY A WORD]. All decent escapism stuff.
I've also got a sketchbook to fill before the new college year, and a comprehensive study of 20th century art history to create. I'm not mentioning the interior decorating I've guilted myself into putting on the list. But I've encountered a snag on that front. I'm still suffering from varying degrees of vertigo which comes on more when I tilt my head a lot. I tried to get up a ladder and help the boyfriend paint my mum's dining room ceiling this weekend, and the motion of looking down at the tray, then up at the ceiling, whilst being up a height was enough to get me wobbling back down to firmer ground again. But I have a hallway ceiling to paint! My ceilings are 10+ high. DOH!
Having said that, I've just remembered that I've got some anti vertigo meds somewhere that make me drowzy but might just be the answer.
I went back to the doc about it all, because i've got this ringing in my ears like white noise and I 'think' my hearing is going. The last week I've noticed that I can't hear people on the phone very well at all. But the ear thing doesn't seem to be typical Menieres according to the doc. I don't know why. Possibly because it's going on for over a month and I get it most in the mornings after I've just got up, or when I do the head tilting thing. His doing a fasting blood test tomorrow testing me for everything under the sun. Even cholesterol which I've never had. Interesting stuff. Assuming blood wise I'm all fine, then it'll be more hospital appointments, but this time with the ENT peeps.
Anyhoo.

Why is the weather not improving yet? I've also got a crazy paving patio to lay damnit.

God.
I've turned middle aged!

Mmm

8th May - Pissy feet....
Originally uploaded by Caz Harrison.

I've recently bought some dry heel repair cream to prevent my feet from becoming mocasins like my mothers... I was slightly worried to note that the main ingrediant is piss.
Lovely.
That accounts for the smell then.

Addicted to lurve

51%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Mingle² - Online Dating

Thanks Dj.. I nearly feel normal! I used to be a whole lot worse with my blogging addiction, but I'm on a programme.

Yesterday littlest kid piped up in the car on the way to school:
LK: Muuuuuuuuuum! Look there's a squirrel on the roof!
Me: Oh really [driving and not paying close attention], that's cool.
LK: Yeah. [explanatory tones] It's looking for his doughnut.

In other news, I actually dreamt a painting last night. Or this morning, whatever. All in detail though. Weird. I've sketched it out a bit with a mind to creating it. I'm heading down an abstract path these days, much to the consternation of my other half. I can't help it. I feel it in me waters heh.
It's very hard to create an abstract expressionist painting that doesn't look like a 12 year old has done it. I've ordered some textbooks to cope with my latest addiction. Think William Scott.

Self Portrait

Self Portrait
Originally uploaded by La Beave.

If I were a member of Springfield of course.Go here to play: www.simpsonsmovie.com/main.html

I particularily like the slightly manic stare badly hidden by the stiff smile ! A woman on the edge ;)
How are you all anyway?
I took the bunnies to the RSPCA vets today. An experience to say the least! But they are all well and happy apart from the fact that little Ricky has become big Richard and wont leave Abigail alone. So next week Big Richard will have two little things surgically removed and be reinstated as Ricketta. Then perhaps Abigail will get some peace and hopefully he'll stop nibbling at her ruff area to get her ready for some 'hows your father'. Dirty animal. Mind you... the boyfriend uses the same technique !!!!

4 + 4 =

We've recently inherited one of those DS Brain Training 'games'. Obviously I use the term game here loosly! Anyway, I had a pop this evening and have been traumatised to learn that my brain is the age of a 54 year old !!!!!!!!!
I've begun training in ernest.
And sobbing, there's sobbing too.

I had decided to do one of those '7 things you might find fascinating about me' types of things as seen at Dj's gaff... but i'm too intimidated.

Mister Sensative..

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly
teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display. There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf,and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large a collection of Teddy Bears, but doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.

They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father of my children?"

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known, and even did a few things she had never done with any other man.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly,
"Well, how was it?" The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says...




"Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf!"

Pouting!

Pouting!
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen Lederhosen.

In case the other link below didn't get you interested..

Noooo!

Noooo!
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen Lederhosen.

Yes DJ... they are!
Bad bunnies.
Bad.
Bad.
Bad.

Not in front of the dog.

I've got the photo's of my stuff up at the exhibition now over here. Pretty proud, although I didn't get a say in what went up due to illness. But the tutor put many of my favs in and that's all I could ask for really. It's weird walking past your wall, and watching a group of strangers stop at your work, point and talk to each other. Also weird to see some random geezer taking photos of the wall. What a buzz. I want more!

Warning!

My pc is broke!
It says it's unable to read bitmaps and I cant see any buttons on windows!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
Anyone know anything about it?

Needless to say, this post will be shorter than I'd have liked.

Some points:
-My boyfriend bought me some beautiful flowers last weekend to cheer me up, and they are still working their magic.
-My boyfriend's the schizzle.
-The art exhibition is going well I think. I've got pics but my boyfriend is coming to see it on Friday and I don't want to ruin the surprise.
-Billi and Charlie's fighting makes me laugh. Don't make the mistake of evicting the wrong person again like last week people. Keep Billi in just to see Charlie squirm.
-I watched Anthea Turner's housewife programme on telly this evening. So damn funny. I'm just hoping the whole thing really is as tongue in cheek as I'm thinking. The voice over lady makes it. But. So I'm watching it, and it ends, and I am immediately shamed into getting up and cleaning for awhile! Does this happen to anyone else? maybe after watching those How Clean Is Your House programmes? I'm such a mug!

- Do me a HUGE favour. There is a really
uber cool dude in the Big
Blogger house (link down the bottom as well as here) who could use your
votes to keep him IN. He's worthy I promise, but isn't great
at self promotion, therefore I too have decided to PIMP his
witty arse unashamedly.
Please please please you crazy peeps, go to Big Blogger, even if you
dont bother reading any of it, and vote for BEDSHAPED to stay in using the little sidebar poll.
Choose him on the list, and click vote. That easy and i'll be your best friend
forever and possibly even do some sort of request on here. How's that for
insentive eh? Woo. Just let me know your thoughts in the comments ;)
(I am SUCH a good pimp ehehehe)

Argh!

Stage 3 - Brush Final Piece
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen Lederhosen.

I WILL blog soon.
It's not like I've nothing to share, I have, but its been nuts at Chez Trotter and not all good nuts either. Like peanut M&Ms. More like a selection packet with some really crummy things thrown in to beef it up.
Anyhoo.
Will update shortly.

Favourite Quote of the Moment:

A painting is never finished - it merely stops in interesting places.
-Paul Gardner.

I think this can be said of many things in life:

My hair growth is never finished - it's merely shaved in interesting places.
My diet is never finished - it's merely halted in the face of interesting cakes.

Anyone for any more?

Ack !

Door Knocker - A Final Piece for Scrap Art Brief
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen Lederhosen.

I've been a bit poorly recently. Slowly getting better, but it's been unexpected and very odd. Turns out my mother has had it before, but not as severe and so didn't associate the two. I've not had a conclusive diagnosis yet, but it's very likely.
One more physical issue for the list then.

Today has been better, but with my last, and arguably worst, English Lit exam happening in a few hours, I feel somewhat at a disadvantage! I've hardly been able to do any revision really, even though I do get 'the gist', and I expect I'll be winging it by the seat of my pants whilst feeling like i'm falling off my chair.
Unfortunately I've also found it harder to concentrate on reading, words go out of focus and my thoughts are a little fuzzy round the edges. I have told my tutor about it, and she just said 'get well soon'. Hopefully if i really fail this one, I might be able to do a resit. But i'm going to give it a good go anyway. That's assuming I can drive myself to the college today.
I have to sidle off now, sideways of course as this small type is making me doolally.
Wish me luck.

Cringe

Tony Blair hasn't been doing very well lately bless im. (please note the sarcasm in my voice here)
Here is an extract from an interview he gave Der Spiegel in Germany, an interview might I add that's meant to mark his passing.

SPIEGEL: Why is Africa in the centre of political activities? Is it because a few musicians are taking an interest or because the Chinese are moving into Africa?

Blair: No, this predates the China issue - though that is an issue now with Africa. It's really because it's a big moral cause. Take the issue of HIV/Aids, for example. We've probably saved a million lives already. How many other areas of politics can you do something that saves literally millions of lives?

SPIEGEL: By not starting wars, for example.

And:

SPIEGEL: When you look back, won't Iraq be the big nightmare of your time in office?

Blair: You know, you and I are not going to agree on this.

SPIEGEL: Isn't it important, if you start a war, to at least win it?

Blair: Well, I don't believe we've lost it.

SPIEGEL: Are you sure?

On less political news, because frankly I'm not very politically minded, I will be sat at the pc for quite some time this morning I imagine. I've got to find a ton of artists for my sketchbook research and mail it all to me mum at her work! Well I can't afford to run through another printer cartridge damnit.

There's this guy who lives local that I know, except that 'know' is a strong term. We met in the docs waiting room where I engaged him in nosey conversation after hearing him talking to his son in a Southern accent. Anyone who's moved into a completely new part of their country will recognise this habbitual ear pricking on hearing 'your own kind'. A sudden need to divulge your life story to a complete stranger and an instant bond just from a reciprocative "Yes I'm a Southerner."
So we got to talking. He'd only lived up here a few months back then, and was a little cagey as to why the move. He mentioned something about needing a fresh start for him and the lad, which I didn't like to pry into because let's face it, that conjurs up scary things like deaths in the family or something. He also doesn't seem to have a wife, no job and, rightly or wrongly, my gaydar keeps twinging off and on. Since that meeting I've seen him walking back from the school run many times around town, always on his own or with his kid, and yesterday we met up again in the local petrol station. We had a nice chat, exchanged names again because we'd both forgotton, and parted ways. He told me he'd moved again round the corner because the other place was a dive, and that he'd got some call center work coming up. All good stuff. Then this morning we ran into each other in the same petrol station again. Now he seems a really nice bloke and I feel like somehow extending the hand of friendship because I know how fucking hard it is to move to a new area all alone, but how do I not come across as a psycho stalker? Assuming he isn't already thinking that ha!
It's so hard to be an adult and make friends when you move. Everyone knows everyone, and noone is really that interested in persuing a new friendship because it takes a bit of effort sometimes. At most you wind up with a hellova a lot of friendly aquaintances who would pass you in the street and say 'hello' but wouldn't share their last rolo.
I expect I'm projecting my own problems onto this guy, seeing someone lonely when I'm the lonely one, wanting to connect with a person going through something I've been through because I need the camerardie and not him.
Sigh.
Maybe next time I see him, which will be time number four, I will enquire openly about his social situation and see what leading answers he gives. Take it from there. People need to care more about others in this isolated, selfcentered and ignorant world. If i'm branded a psycho stalker for it, then so be it. Wait. I didn't mean that like that!

Playtime People

It was too cold and wet for the bunnies to go on the lawn today, but they needed some stimulation, so their new octagon run came inside the lounge. It's mahoosive. Three kids and the two bunnies can sit inside quite comfortably. Meanwhile yours truly cleaned out their home. For 3/4 of an hour! So, after a good hour and a half of play, the two baby bunnies were pooped out. And after several hours of arting.. I'm pooped out. Still, I'll have to work through the night. I've a deadline of Monday to finish, or beef up, three projects. Half a sketchbook, three major pieces, and a naked torso to paint.
Progress so far on the main pieces today:

Catch up...

I would like to present the two newest members of the Trotter household:

Abigail.
And..

Bobby. Or Ricky. Eldest can't decide on which name.
Personally I really pushed for Andre. Or Austin. Oh and Sigmund, but she wasn't having any of it.
Aren't they adorable?
They went out onto the lawn in their little bunny harnesses today. It went SO well I am so shocked at how good they are and how forward. Happy as larry basically. Bounding and eating grass. A lot of grass! Such good babies.
So, what else?

I had the first English Lit exam on Monday. It went so well. Fingers crossed.
I chose the following of which we had an hour to answer each question:

- Using the extract below as a starting point, discuss your views on the critic that the Ancient Mariner's role was to instill terror and pity in the reader.
(The extract contained a dialogue with the Wedding Guest)

- How far do you agree that the females were the ones with real power in The Rover's society even though it is set in patriarchal times?

We picked up our pre release material today to study in this week running up to the last exam on Tuesday. It's not looking pleasent. An extract from a piece of historical fiction. Yay.
I also slipped along to my local uni's Visual Arts degree exhibition to have a gander at the levels acquired. Meh. Only two spoke to me, one using textiles and was really absorbing, and a painting.
Then went around and had a big nose. The foundation art & design degree students were showing their first exhibition too, and again out of about forty I'd say two made my head turn. Very amateur. These students are essentially doing the same course as me, only in a uni setting and in one year. Then I also had a mooch about the MA Contemporary Fine Arts studios, and again two out of about twenty made me pause. But to be fair there wasn't a lot out on display, although presumably what was out is their best work. I'm worried that I'm big headed. Pride comes before a fall doesn't it, and hell I had one of those already this year what with my distinction being downgraded thanks to some external verifying behatch.
Ah well.
I've more to write..
But i'm a bit drained lately.
This week is becoming such a mare. Bunnies are off to their first vet check up tomorrow, and i've got college etc.
Art college wise I've suddenly hit a massive snag. I was told yesterday that our end of year exhibition is to be put together next week. Oh good. Great. Sigh.
No rest for the wicked eh?