Flying The Flag?

My first listen to this years Uk Eurovision entry from 'Scooch'.
Frankly I'm appawled.
But quite apart from the obvious lack of talent, I was slack jawed at how obvious the euphemisms became!
"Would you like something to suck on ma'am?"
What the?!
I wonder what Terry said about it.
You gotta laugh at it though. At, not with. Not in support but as a cynical the Eurovision is fixed so lets just take the utter piss out of the whole thing, thing.

The Steering Wheel

I realised today as I sat in my car,
Routines routinely followed, paths predestined,
That the hopeful rising of my emotions are
Undeniably Linked, Wound, Spiraled, Twinned,
Dependant upon our most heavenly body
Whose warmth washes o'er my somnambulant skin.
The steering wheel, the unwitting catalyst of epiphany,
My hands stroke it's heat and welcome it within.

Mighty Manchester

Manchester Rooftops Paint Sketch
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen Lederhosen.

What an amazingly lovely day it's been today, weather wise. Just fantastic.
Had to cut college day short due to Eldest feeling naseous at school and a hasty pick up needed. Seems fine now though. I wonder.
I finished off this ink and watercolour sketch tonight in my book. It's sort of a practise run as this image will be used for another wood piece. I do so love my pen and watercolour fun though. Unfortunately it was crappy slippery paper, but hey. Just a sketchypoo.
Oh and I was psychically in tune at college today. Woot!

Manchester Rooftops On Wood Series 1

Manchester Rooftops On Wood Series 1
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen Lederhosen.

The first of the final wood pieces inspired by a photo. The wood is a left over bit of scrap from a woodbin at college which I paint up with a layer of white emulsion first.
Got two more to do which have been expertly carved out of an old kitchen cabinet with a jigsaw by my lovely and long suffering boyfriend. The poor man rues the day I discovered he was actually REALLY handy with DIY despite his protesting otherwise.
This one is acrylics. Will need to do oil based one too. The next two rooftops have been inspired by Neil101's photography found on the Flickr site. (see my contacts)
I can't make my mind up about this one you know.
I sort of like it. And sort of hate its simplicity and child like quality. This one is the 'detailed' one. Another will be much more emotional and evocative.
IN THEORY! haha.
I hope so.
Let me know what you think! :)

I'm still doing more architectural photos alongside these main ones in my sketchbook. I'm rather enjoying it. But don't tell anyone.

Went to English class this evening. Only one other student there, and she opened her mouth twice under duress. We did some quite interesting deconstruction work of the Rime of the Ancient Mariner. S'alright that one. So i feel semi accomplished.
Wasn't able to get into art college this afternoon though. Middle kid was feeling naseous. I am rolling my eyes a lot as i type by the way. In fairness to her, she did look a little peeky and stayed on the couch all morning with cuddles from me, so she probably wasn't pulling the wool over my Uber fashionable new glasses.
And here's something i find amusing about myself.
Speaking of which.
I occasionally feel like my Uber Fashionable New Glasses (TM) are too fashionable for me! Have I lost the plot entirely? Possibly. Then, I counter that feeble minded self critism by realising that i've become that old that I don't care anymore and am wearing them solely because I think they fucking rock. Then I sit back and think, i've surely come full circle because by not caring, i've become Uber cool and able therefore to carry off said Uber Fashionable New Glasses. But then by recognising that fact, I become lame and uncool yet again.
It's a twisted cycle of self loathing!

I can be overly dramatic at times.
Have you noticed?

Hey I'm artisty.
I'm meant to be plagued with low esteem and self doubt. It's the done thing.

There's me..

.. telling the kids with my 'firm' voice that now the movie has finished they need to go to bed nicely, straight away, and without grumbling because it's already ten to nine, when I suddenly realised that I hadn't put the clocks forward yet.
TEN TO TEN and a school day in the morning?

Heaven help me tomorrow.
*whimper*

Only meeeeee

New Glasses
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen Lederhosen.

Tada!
By slightly popular request I hereby give you...
Me.
Hooray.
Sorry to the disappointed men and one lesbian for wearing clothing. Believe me, you're better off without the retinal scarring.

Hands up

Who wants to see me in my new specs then?

Observational Drawing of Scrap

Observational Drawing of Scrap
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen Lederhosen.

Ahhhh. Another day, another drawing.
Yes folks, there was some forward motion today in relation to the new art project (Scrap Art). I did this this morning and am cool with it. There was a lot of pushing by the tutor today. Mostly self inflicted. Sometimes I need to know what the hell i'm meant to do to get things better. No good guessing all the time. Tuition please!
She made me darken everything mostly. I've issues being bold and daring. I get too worried about messing up and the more i work on something, the tighter and more constrained I become. Call me anal! Actually no dont.
I'm going to try (once again) to cut loose as it were in my sketchbook.
Someone lend me some balls please? Would be really helpful.

I've been feeling quite a lot better today and yesterday. I think eating carefully has helped. Although eating fruit and nuts a lot has definate drawbacks in the gaseous department, but whacha gonna do right? Be lethargic and unhappy but sweet smelling, or happy, go-getting and smelling like something died up my bottom every two hours or so?
Wind.
Tis a funny thing.
My boyfriend hates all things bodily emisions related. Which can make things a little uncomfortable for me at times seeing as my arse is a liability on metformin tablets. I have been known to get cramps from holding in. Although these days i've learned its better to excuse oneself and release in private than hold and wait. That's the path to evil. I did once do a rather 'freeforming' burp in front of him in the middle of a card game. I was to regret it for quite some time until he only recently emitted a doozy himself in the middle of a sentence no less! And then carried on as if i wouldn't notice heheh. Hell not with all the stick I got for mine! So now I feel, almost a year into our relationship, that we are somewhat over this billious hurdle.
Its good. And not in a familiarity breeds contempt kind of way.
But he's burped and farted in front of me by accident, and i have him. So we can move on. The disgrace cleansed from our souls. Further into the next stage of our rather amazing relationship.
What is the next stage after gas?
Long leg hair?

What's wrong with me?

Why do I feel So shitty today?
I have zero energy. It's like someone came along and slapped it out of me.
I'm meant to be at college now doing an annoying part of a brief which includes making my portrait out of card and not using glue or tape. Sigh. Needless to say it's been fairly easy to decide to stay at home and nurse my lethargy.
Perhaps I've had a sugar crash from hell after this mornings three fairy cakes with icing. It's middle kids birthday today you see. So she brought in cakes for her class, but alas there were too many!
I have a new fetish too.
Jelly beans.
The weekend was marvelous, spent in the company of the Boyf back where he lives. Maybe I'm on a come down from his company or something.
My body really annoys me lately.
Niggling things that seem to be able to impact my life enough to wear a frown. Lately I can't stop itching all over. Poss allergic reaction to something, I dunno. And now today being exhausted when all I want to do is bound about with loads of bounce and get stuff done. I don't like how I'm at the mercy of my body's every malardic whim. I feel like if only my mind where strong enough I could apply mind over matter and shrug off days like these. But then my mind's possibly weak.
And what is with this weather?
The wind is unnerving me with its howls and the way it pushes through the catflap's meagre magnet.
SIGH.
Well if I'm not mentally strong enough to hawl arse into college, then perhaps I can do some sketches here anyway. Make me feel a little acomplished. Might go a long way for a much needed emotional boost. I am however going to evening class as usual. Less effort needed in a way because I don't need to do the whole make-up thang.
So.
Sketching it is then.

I wonder..

.. what the guiness world record is for being pushed in an office chair?

Amusing facts of life for Parents/Mums to be.

Your Clothes:
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress-a whimper,
a frown-you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails
threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how
to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier/Dummy:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor,
you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor,
you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering/Nappies:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour,
whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours,
if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics,
Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket
and the dry cleaner.

Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter,
you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call
only if she sees blood.

At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day
just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day
hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins:
1st child: When first child swallows a coin,
you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin,
you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance.

Observational Drawings of Scrap

Observational Drawings of Scrap
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen Lederhosen.

This morning's college activity, a good two hours work not including materials set up.
Our next project brief is Scrap Art. It's going to be a beefy one! I'm taking a deep breath.
This was done on A2 paper using Willow Charcoal.
I quite enjoyed it, but have issues with my scrap! Moving house recently + a mother who loves to take things to the dump = no scrap at all! Maybe the boyfriend will have some in his garage or something.

Cheeky Chuckle Anyone?

Also, I need to stop eating wholesome fruit n nut musli. I know it's 'meant' to be good for me, but my billiousness says otherwise. And holding in gives me cramps.

Currently discovered: Don't You Know Who I Think I Am - Fall Out Boy

It's a good job i'm on the happy pills...

Christ on a bike.
I'm attempting to go back into college today for the first time in a couple of weeks.
I feel SO out of touch and left behind. I hope they ease me in gently!
And i'm so skint.
Car tax to pay, council tax still haven't got back to me about refund, middle kids birthday, £70 on new pair of glasses for myself, blah blah. I can't afford printer ink.
All that and the CSA haven't paid me yet.
Sigh.
Did have a cracking weekend with The Boyfriend though. More on that later.

A little Meme while I am waiting..

Decided to do Goddy's Meme for a change. You are meant to answer the questions within three words if possible. Feel free to take it on.

1. Where is your cell phone? On my desk
2. Boyfriend/girlfriend? Boyfriend thanks
3. Hair? Brown and growing
4. Your mother? Mad As Hatter
5. Your father? Presumably in Dorset
6. Your favorite item? My art toolbox
7. Your dream last night? Haven't a clue
8. Your favorite drink? Tea for two
9. Your dream girl/guy? boyfriend of course
10. The room you are in? through lounge diner
11. Your fear? failure in life
12. What do you want to be in 10 years? loved and successful
13. Who did you hang out with last night? My motly kids :)
14. What are you not? I’m not tidy
15. Are you in love? completely and utterly
16. One of your wish list items? art supplies etc
17. What time is it? boring o clock
18. The last thing you did? drank a coffee
19. What are you wearing? painting clothes
20. Your favorite book? Beauty, Sheri S Tepper
21. The last thing you ate? Yesterdays pizza (euw)
22. Your life? Looking positive!
23. Your mood? Pretty good considering ;)
24. Your friends? Old memories.
25. What are you thinking about right now? Answering these questions
26. Your car? Old tired faithful
27. What are you doing at this moment? Answering this stupid!
28. Your summer? too long ago...
29. Your relationship status? Taken with children
30. What is on your TV screen? James and the Giant Peach
31. When is the last time you laughed? Ten minutes ago
32. Last time you cried? Two days ago
33. School? Working on it!
34. Wishin hopin thinkin prayin? Wanting peace
35. What are you listening too? James and giant peach menu on bloody repeat ARGH!
36. Where do you want to be right now? Nowhere else

Pandemic Proportions

We're still ill.
How can we still be ill?
I'm getting a bit better, and would probably be able to sleep if I didnt have three ill sprogs around me. Eldest two are worse now with tonsilitus, and the little one was screaming last night because of ear ache.
Sigh.
And ear ache's the worst too.

I've managed to get one docs app. for this morning but i'm just going to have to force the other two on the doc to be looked at. This is just silly.
I'm pretty sure I've got a throat infection too, but i'm letting it do its own thing because I don't have the energy to sort out myself as well as three other people.
Last night's sleep?
Two hours straight at most, five hours total.

Foreign lands...

Foreign lands...
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen Lederhosen.

It's amazing what seven days straight of lemsip max will do for ya! There are even moments when i'm able to focus more than just on whether i have one nostril unblocked enough to breathe or not.

So I managed to spend some time painting with a new set of gouache paints i had to buy the other day. Not painted with them before so I'm pleased with the result. I've got to straighten the lines a little at some point but that's ok.
Sometimes I have moments where I think, hell i can actually do this. I really can. I figure out that I dont have to compromise after uni as far as artistic employment is concerned. I romantisize about hours of peace where I can commit my energy to paper or canvas without interuption. I dream of going along to a prestigious gallery in town to check on their latest installation of mine and see how many pieces were sold last month.
I dunno.
Delusional from the lemsips no doubt.
I've been really hormonal and depressed again these last few days. I kinda realised earlier. Boyfriend took a mini brunt of it when I questioned why i was worth his time, and what I have to offer him in my life. Insecurities raised their ugly heads. I turned introspective.
I snapped at the kids. My usually high levels of tolerence where the littlest is concerned frayed and broke away completely today when she hit out and yelled at her older sister for nothing.
After sending them all packing to their rooms, I sat down, ate five chocolate biscuits, and broke down in tears. I was a poster ad for pathetic.
After five minutes I was upstairs appologising to the kids in tears, trying to eb the flow of snot. Littlest had put herself to bed, and was almost asleep. She turned away from me as i crawled next to her and I cried so hard telling her i was sorry that she turned round and began to cry too saying "It's ok mummy, it was just an accident."
I've not had a good day. Luckily they don't come along that often now i'm on the tablets. I'm hoping its a lapse due to my period, my illness, and the fact that i'm currently surviving with sleep deprivation!

I wonder though.
Whether my depression over the last six months or so, and hormone levels making my cervical erosion are linked.
Does anyone know?
It makes sense in my head anyway.
I finally made an appointment with Hope Hospital to get my chacha looked at. I'll ask the dude there.

A convo with the boyf in msn:

Delboys Daughter ... says:
so what free thing did you get with the phone?
The Boyf says:
xbox 360
Delboys Daughter ... says:
teehee
Delboys Daughter ... says:
you'll never leave the house again! our relationship is dooooomed
days you'll go missing! i can see it now
The Boyf says:
ha, yeah right
Delboys Daughter ... says:
the lure of the gears of war will suck you in and spit you out
The Boyf says:
you can quote me on that
Delboys Daughter ... says:
you'll be a husk
Delboys Daughter ... says:
a shell of your former self
The Boyf says:
im ready to do some of my own spitting
Delboys Daughter ... says:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Boyf says:
ill be a recluse
Delboys Daughter ... says:
hang on !!!!!!!!!
Delboys Daughter ... says:
you're ready to do some of your own spitting ???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Delboys Daughter ... says:
that's got to be the corsest thing ive ever heard come out of your mouth!!!!!!!!
The Boyf says:
yano, in the game
Delboys Daughter ... says:
oh
Delboys Daughter ... says:
i thought you meant from your penis
Delboys Daughter ... says:
my bad

I'M ILL

Send chicken soup.
Flu is a bitch.
Can't turn head as throat is size of football.
Gravity has increased by 300%.
Ligaments have been replaced by sawdust.

How is it possible to waffle in msn? I manage to do it all the time. I'm odd.