Warning!

My pc is broke!
It says it's unable to read bitmaps and I cant see any buttons on windows!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh.
Anyone know anything about it?

Needless to say, this post will be shorter than I'd have liked.

Some points:
-My boyfriend bought me some beautiful flowers last weekend to cheer me up, and they are still working their magic.
-My boyfriend's the schizzle.
-The art exhibition is going well I think. I've got pics but my boyfriend is coming to see it on Friday and I don't want to ruin the surprise.
-Billi and Charlie's fighting makes me laugh. Don't make the mistake of evicting the wrong person again like last week people. Keep Billi in just to see Charlie squirm.
-I watched Anthea Turner's housewife programme on telly this evening. So damn funny. I'm just hoping the whole thing really is as tongue in cheek as I'm thinking. The voice over lady makes it. But. So I'm watching it, and it ends, and I am immediately shamed into getting up and cleaning for awhile! Does this happen to anyone else? maybe after watching those How Clean Is Your House programmes? I'm such a mug!

- Do me a HUGE favour. There is a really
uber cool dude in the Big
Blogger house (link down the bottom as well as here) who could use your
votes to keep him IN. He's worthy I promise, but isn't great
at self promotion, therefore I too have decided to PIMP his
witty arse unashamedly.
Please please please you crazy peeps, go to Big Blogger, even if you
dont bother reading any of it, and vote for BEDSHAPED to stay in using the little sidebar poll.
Choose him on the list, and click vote. That easy and i'll be your best friend
forever and possibly even do some sort of request on here. How's that for
insentive eh? Woo. Just let me know your thoughts in the comments ;)
(I am SUCH a good pimp ehehehe)

Argh!

Stage 3 - Brush Final Piece
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen Lederhosen.

I WILL blog soon.
It's not like I've nothing to share, I have, but its been nuts at Chez Trotter and not all good nuts either. Like peanut M&Ms. More like a selection packet with some really crummy things thrown in to beef it up.
Anyhoo.
Will update shortly.

Favourite Quote of the Moment:

A painting is never finished - it merely stops in interesting places.
-Paul Gardner.

I think this can be said of many things in life:

My hair growth is never finished - it's merely shaved in interesting places.
My diet is never finished - it's merely halted in the face of interesting cakes.

Anyone for any more?

Ack !

Door Knocker - A Final Piece for Scrap Art Brief
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen Lederhosen.

I've been a bit poorly recently. Slowly getting better, but it's been unexpected and very odd. Turns out my mother has had it before, but not as severe and so didn't associate the two. I've not had a conclusive diagnosis yet, but it's very likely.
One more physical issue for the list then.

Today has been better, but with my last, and arguably worst, English Lit exam happening in a few hours, I feel somewhat at a disadvantage! I've hardly been able to do any revision really, even though I do get 'the gist', and I expect I'll be winging it by the seat of my pants whilst feeling like i'm falling off my chair.
Unfortunately I've also found it harder to concentrate on reading, words go out of focus and my thoughts are a little fuzzy round the edges. I have told my tutor about it, and she just said 'get well soon'. Hopefully if i really fail this one, I might be able to do a resit. But i'm going to give it a good go anyway. That's assuming I can drive myself to the college today.
I have to sidle off now, sideways of course as this small type is making me doolally.
Wish me luck.

Cringe

Tony Blair hasn't been doing very well lately bless im. (please note the sarcasm in my voice here)
Here is an extract from an interview he gave Der Spiegel in Germany, an interview might I add that's meant to mark his passing.

SPIEGEL: Why is Africa in the centre of political activities? Is it because a few musicians are taking an interest or because the Chinese are moving into Africa?

Blair: No, this predates the China issue - though that is an issue now with Africa. It's really because it's a big moral cause. Take the issue of HIV/Aids, for example. We've probably saved a million lives already. How many other areas of politics can you do something that saves literally millions of lives?

SPIEGEL: By not starting wars, for example.

And:

SPIEGEL: When you look back, won't Iraq be the big nightmare of your time in office?

Blair: You know, you and I are not going to agree on this.

SPIEGEL: Isn't it important, if you start a war, to at least win it?

Blair: Well, I don't believe we've lost it.

SPIEGEL: Are you sure?

On less political news, because frankly I'm not very politically minded, I will be sat at the pc for quite some time this morning I imagine. I've got to find a ton of artists for my sketchbook research and mail it all to me mum at her work! Well I can't afford to run through another printer cartridge damnit.

There's this guy who lives local that I know, except that 'know' is a strong term. We met in the docs waiting room where I engaged him in nosey conversation after hearing him talking to his son in a Southern accent. Anyone who's moved into a completely new part of their country will recognise this habbitual ear pricking on hearing 'your own kind'. A sudden need to divulge your life story to a complete stranger and an instant bond just from a reciprocative "Yes I'm a Southerner."
So we got to talking. He'd only lived up here a few months back then, and was a little cagey as to why the move. He mentioned something about needing a fresh start for him and the lad, which I didn't like to pry into because let's face it, that conjurs up scary things like deaths in the family or something. He also doesn't seem to have a wife, no job and, rightly or wrongly, my gaydar keeps twinging off and on. Since that meeting I've seen him walking back from the school run many times around town, always on his own or with his kid, and yesterday we met up again in the local petrol station. We had a nice chat, exchanged names again because we'd both forgotton, and parted ways. He told me he'd moved again round the corner because the other place was a dive, and that he'd got some call center work coming up. All good stuff. Then this morning we ran into each other in the same petrol station again. Now he seems a really nice bloke and I feel like somehow extending the hand of friendship because I know how fucking hard it is to move to a new area all alone, but how do I not come across as a psycho stalker? Assuming he isn't already thinking that ha!
It's so hard to be an adult and make friends when you move. Everyone knows everyone, and noone is really that interested in persuing a new friendship because it takes a bit of effort sometimes. At most you wind up with a hellova a lot of friendly aquaintances who would pass you in the street and say 'hello' but wouldn't share their last rolo.
I expect I'm projecting my own problems onto this guy, seeing someone lonely when I'm the lonely one, wanting to connect with a person going through something I've been through because I need the camerardie and not him.
Sigh.
Maybe next time I see him, which will be time number four, I will enquire openly about his social situation and see what leading answers he gives. Take it from there. People need to care more about others in this isolated, selfcentered and ignorant world. If i'm branded a psycho stalker for it, then so be it. Wait. I didn't mean that like that!

Playtime People

It was too cold and wet for the bunnies to go on the lawn today, but they needed some stimulation, so their new octagon run came inside the lounge. It's mahoosive. Three kids and the two bunnies can sit inside quite comfortably. Meanwhile yours truly cleaned out their home. For 3/4 of an hour! So, after a good hour and a half of play, the two baby bunnies were pooped out. And after several hours of arting.. I'm pooped out. Still, I'll have to work through the night. I've a deadline of Monday to finish, or beef up, three projects. Half a sketchbook, three major pieces, and a naked torso to paint.
Progress so far on the main pieces today:

Catch up...

I would like to present the two newest members of the Trotter household:

Abigail.
And..

Bobby. Or Ricky. Eldest can't decide on which name.
Personally I really pushed for Andre. Or Austin. Oh and Sigmund, but she wasn't having any of it.
Aren't they adorable?
They went out onto the lawn in their little bunny harnesses today. It went SO well I am so shocked at how good they are and how forward. Happy as larry basically. Bounding and eating grass. A lot of grass! Such good babies.
So, what else?

I had the first English Lit exam on Monday. It went so well. Fingers crossed.
I chose the following of which we had an hour to answer each question:

- Using the extract below as a starting point, discuss your views on the critic that the Ancient Mariner's role was to instill terror and pity in the reader.
(The extract contained a dialogue with the Wedding Guest)

- How far do you agree that the females were the ones with real power in The Rover's society even though it is set in patriarchal times?

We picked up our pre release material today to study in this week running up to the last exam on Tuesday. It's not looking pleasent. An extract from a piece of historical fiction. Yay.
I also slipped along to my local uni's Visual Arts degree exhibition to have a gander at the levels acquired. Meh. Only two spoke to me, one using textiles and was really absorbing, and a painting.
Then went around and had a big nose. The foundation art & design degree students were showing their first exhibition too, and again out of about forty I'd say two made my head turn. Very amateur. These students are essentially doing the same course as me, only in a uni setting and in one year. Then I also had a mooch about the MA Contemporary Fine Arts studios, and again two out of about twenty made me pause. But to be fair there wasn't a lot out on display, although presumably what was out is their best work. I'm worried that I'm big headed. Pride comes before a fall doesn't it, and hell I had one of those already this year what with my distinction being downgraded thanks to some external verifying behatch.
Ah well.
I've more to write..
But i'm a bit drained lately.
This week is becoming such a mare. Bunnies are off to their first vet check up tomorrow, and i've got college etc.
Art college wise I've suddenly hit a massive snag. I was told yesterday that our end of year exhibition is to be put together next week. Oh good. Great. Sigh.
No rest for the wicked eh?

Very Important Self Reflection #23

I can't hold any pencils under my breasts.
I feel inadequate.

New Additions For The Trotter Household

The Hutch
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen.

This is our new rabbits hutch, homemade by a friend. It's outstanding (and very heavy and solid!) Now all it needs are a couple of bunny residents.
In two days my eldest will be collecting her new bunny friend for her birthday, and her sisters will be sharing one because I don't think it's fair to keep one all alone outside if you have the space for two. Indoor bunnies are of course different, but what with the dog and cat.. these new additions to the family will be housed in our yard adjacent to the back door, on view from two windows and of course the door. In fact I'll be able to watch the bunnies as I wash up.
If anyone can give me any tips on getting rabbits really tame etc then please share.

That's my cat to the side there, making a rare public appearence.

Now I should be revising for my exam so shush.
(I can't wait for the pitter patter of tiny bunny feet!)

Pleasently Pondering...

Progress so far..
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen.

I came across one of those 'choose the right career for you' quizes where it matches personality to jobs. (If you fancy having a pop at it then brace yourself and go here.)
'Huzzah!' thought I excitedly.
I'm still excited after getting the results, pant wettingly so because apparently I'm on the right track:

You would be very happy in a career that utilised your level-headedness, and allowed you to work mainly on your own. You want a career that allows you to be creative, without having to be involved with lots of people. Some careers that would be perfect for you are:

Artist
Historian
Banker
Novelist
University Professor
Photographer
Vet
Paralegal
Graphic Designer
Online Content Developer
Webmaster
Producer
Managing Director
Nutritionist
Advertising
Nursing

You like working and being alone. You like to avoid attention at all costs. You tend to keep to yourself, and not interact much with the people around you. You enjoy spending time with a few a close friends. You like to listen to others, but don't like sharing much about yourself. You are very quiet and private.

You are very practical, and only act after thinking things through. You don't like being forced to answer quickly. You have to evaluate the situation completely. You make decisions based on what you can verify with your senses.

You like to be deeply involved in one or two special projects. You like to be behind the scenes. You are very logical and fair. You feel you should be honest with others and protect their feelings.

You trust your gut instincts. You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration. You are very innovative. You analyse things by looking at the big picture. You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future. You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colourful in your choice of language.

You are very creative, and get bored easily if you don't get to express yourself. You like to learn new things. You don't like the same old routine. You like to leave your options open.

Although I'm not totally sure about the bit where I don't want attention and that I'm quiet. But hey.

My Homerisms

I can't help watching the Gilette Venus razor advert on TV without wanting to be one of the venus goddesses! Especially the 'powerful' one who runs, the 'passionate' one who sings, and the one with 'substance' who is magnificently dragging green paint across a huge canvas.
How pathetic am I that I'm sucked into this advert like this?
I think it's subliminal messages myself.
I would like to point out that I would NOT stoop as low as to buy one of those razors off the back of my blatant goddess envy. I'm sticking to my manly and cheaper Mach 3 Turbo.

Tonight we revised Coleridges Rime Of The Ancient Mariner again. Ever get that feeling that there is just so much stuff going on inside your head that it all might just pop out? That's how I feel.
But with my first exam now less than a week away, I'm still stuffing this old head.
My A from my coursework helps though. Tutor said that I'd really have to be trying hard to fail now as the grades are totted up etc.
Sigh.
I can do this.
I'm good at this.
Bring it on!

Naked Shame #118

Sketchbook detail Dressmaker's Dummy
Originally uploaded by Beaverhuisen Lederhosen.

I was fast asleep this morning at eight am, dreaming some wild dream of romance and espionage no doubt, when I was disturbed from my serene-looking, only slightly dribbling, slumber by the shrill and insistent call of the telephone.
As I started awake, heart thundering, brain barely aware of the dog going flying off the bed under a pile of flung bedclothes, I managed to rue the day I only bought one phone handset.
I stumbled down the stairs in my pants, mumbling and sightless, grabbed the phone in the living room to find my mum (a few doors down on the same road) on the other end of it.

"Hi babe, yeah I just wanted to ring you to warn you not to walk around naked because the window cleaners are about... gotta run.. late for work... beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep."
"Wha... ?"

I look up, naked shame on display for all to see, mouth agape at the irony.
My audience consisted of one young apprentice window cleaner at the living room window, one older window cleaner man, and my annoyed dog.

In other news:
I am being driven insane this morning by some small electronic kids toy that keeps playing Fur Elise over and over again somewhere in their bedroom. But can i find the fucker? I think its about two mms in diameter and probably houses some sort of bionic pet that's dying by sitting in its own feces or summat.

Regrets

I'd like to comment on this year's Big Brother entrants.
I'd like to... but i'm afraid I can't. It's all just too dire.

Well lets just try a few words. See what comes out:

The twins are a pedo's wet dream.
Emily is hot.
Shab's eyebrows are the scariest thing i've ever seen.
After hearing Charlie remark on her hatred of being a size zero whilst parading in front of the mirror I'm now organising hate mail.
Carol could use some upper lip wax as a luxury item/need package.
The other fat one's quite nice and inoffensive (apart from being fat of course).
Tracy's on a come down and needs a special roll up.
Leslie is my mother.
If i hear 'av it' or 'dont you just love it' once more I will kick the dog out of frustration.
And finally...
What was Big Brother thinking exactly?

Is it too late in life to suddenly develop an intense admiration for Stevie Nicks, and in particular Edge Of Seventeen ? And is it just me or is she like a edgier version of Belinda Carlisle ? Circle in the saaaaaaands round and round.... Damn I used to love that track.

Today's Uncanny Horoscope:
'You mustn't expect any enormous changes today, dear Virgo. However, the process you began three or four years ago will accelerate slightly. You are changing the moorings of your identity, the ideas that make you sure of who you are. Your family, background, and education no longer count as much as your own spiritual foundations. Don't be afraid of this shift - go with it.'
I have things of note to tell about today. About my life, my feelings. About having the ex's parents round today on their own. About facing betrayal and offering it a tour of my house. About smiling and being civil in the face of adversity. About being able to be bigger than others. About wanting comfort and finding it in an unusual place.
But I can't open up on here.
I haven't been able to for awhile for fear of consequences.
I've lost a confidant.
Perhaps I no longer need one.
It's about time.